Let’s be real—dating in New York City is a whole different animal. Between ghosters, love-bombers, and the occasional guy who still lives with his ex “as roommates,” it’s a minefield. But beyond the emotional rollercoaster, there’s something even more important: your safety.
I’ve lived in NYC for a while now, and after countless first dates—some good, some cringeworthy, and a few straight-up weird—I’ve developed a solid set of personal rules that help me stay safe while still enjoying the dating scene.
Whether you’re new to dating or just need a refresher, here are my top seven safety tips that every woman should keep in mind.
1. Always Meet in Public First
No exceptions. Coffee shops, restaurants, museums, bars—anywhere public. I never meet someone for the first time at their place or invite them to mine. There’s safety in crowds, and being in a public setting gives you more control over the situation. If someone insists on meeting privately or makes you feel guilty for setting boundaries, that’s a red flag—ditch them.
2. Tell a Friend Where You’re Going
Before every date, I text a close friend the details: who I’m meeting, where we’re going, and what time. I even send a quick photo or screenshot from the dating app if it’s someone I haven’t met before. We’ve got a little “check-in” system in place—if she doesn’t hear from me by a certain time, she’ll check in. It might sound dramatic, but it gives me peace of mind.
3. Don’t Share Too Much Too Soon
This one’s tricky, especially if you’re vibing with someone. But oversharing personal details—like your exact address, workplace, or routines—can backfire. I keep things light on the first few dates. There’s plenty of time to get to know each other if the connection is real.
4. Trust Your Gut, Always
Your intuition is a powerful tool. If something feels off, even slightly, listen to that inner voice. There was a date where the guy seemed fine on text, but in person, his energy was weirdly intense and pushy. I made up an excuse, left early, and blocked him later. No regrets. You never owe anyone your time or explanation if you’re uncomfortable.
5. Watch Your Drink (and Theirs, Too)
This might seem obvious, but it’s crucial: never leave your drink unattended. And don’t accept drinks you didn’t see poured or delivered by staff. If I go to the bathroom, I finish my drink or ask for a new one when I return. It’s sad that we even have to think about this, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.
6. Have Your Own Way Home
I never rely on a date to get me home, even if things go well. I make sure my phone is charged, I have money on my MetroCard (or an Uber backup), and I know my route. This keeps me in control of when and how I leave. Bonus: it helps avoid awkward post-date pressure about “going back to their place.”
7. Stay Sober Enough to Stay Smart
I’m not saying don’t enjoy a cocktail (I love a good mezcal margarita!), but I pace myself. If I’m tipsy or drunk, I’m not in my best decision-making mode. Staying clear-headed helps me read the situation better and make choices I won’t regret the next day. If I’m nervous, I remind myself: confidence is sexier than a third drink.
Dating can be fun, empowering, and even magical—but your safety always comes first. Over the years, I’ve learned that taking a few simple precautions doesn’t make you paranoid—it makes you smart.
We deserve to date boldly and without fear. So go out there, meet new people, enjoy your city—but protect your energy, your time, and your safety like the treasure it is.
Stay safe, and date smart. 💜